Thursday, June 01, 2023

Finding treasure in the Shiloh battlefield parking lot

Barbie and Ken Varner pose with their treasure.

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After stuffing ourselves at Hagy’s Catfish Hotel Restaurant, frog leg connoisseur Jack Richards and I made our way back to the Shiloh National Military Park. Moments after parking, I happened upon an incredible scene: a Civil War-themed motorcycle and trailer emblazoned with illustrations of battle scenes and other important events. I hadn’t seen anything this ridiculously cool since I met a dude years ago who re-created the Battle of Antietam in miniature in his basement in Sharpsburg, Md.

Helmets for Ken and Barbie Varner.
Naturally, I vowed to hunt down the motorcycle owner. Then I mentally prepared myself for asking Mrs. B if we could add one of these things to our 2023-24 fiscal year budget.

After watching the excellent Battle of Shiloh movie in the visitors center, I cornered the owners of the motorcycle in the parking lot and peppered them with questions while others ogled their treasure. 

And the owners are…

Ken and Barbie Varner of McKenzie, Tenn. Seriously! I’ve never met ANYONE named Varner in my whole, entire life! 😁

“This is incredible,” I told Ken, a 65-year-old trucker. “How much did you pay for this?”

“Thirty thousand.”

I started to get nervous. No way Mrs. B will rubber stamp $30,000 for a motorcycle.

My favorite details on the bike.
The bearded illustrator put himself in the Civil War-themed paint job.

Anywho, the Varners purchased the motorcycle — an 1800CC, 2008 Honda Gold Wing — and trailer in 2021 from a history teacher from Pittsburgh, my hometown. That man had a talented illustrator create the Civil War scenes on the magnificent machine. The motorcycle has other excellent, Civil War-related touches, including Lincoln, Lee and Grant etched into the windshield.

Lee's surrender on the motorcycle trailer
“It was after midnight and I was winding down from a day at work,” Ken told me about the blessed day he first laid eyes on the work of art. “I went online and the thing jumped off the screen.”

Moments later, he rushed to see Barbie, who was sleeping.

“You gotta see what I found!”

The next day, Ken—who had always wanted a Civil War-themed motorcycle—closed the deal.

“I never dreamed of having one like this, though,” he said.

Well, I’ve never dreamed of waking Mrs. B after midnight.

Memorial Day happened to be the first day the Varners took the motorcycle out for a spin this year.

“When I pulled into the parking lot, I had goosebumps on my arm,” Ken told me about the visit to Shiloh, the couple’s first to the Tennessee battlefield. What a great day. What an adventure.

Oh, Mrs. B … 😁

Hey, Mrs. B, it's time we get one of these rides.

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